Would you last without loving until your wedding night? Most of you are definitely shaking your heads in disapproval right now. You may not even believe it can last. The following stories will convince you otherwise.
Be a sworn vegan. Do not drink alcohol and succumb to an asthma attack every time your olfactory cells register cigarette smoke. Obsessively disinfect everything you need to touch. You will be strange, but certainly not as if you declare that you are hiding your virginity for your husband on your wedding night.
Few people can understand that you will push sex out of your life. Going with someone and not sleeping with him? That can’t be endured, everyone I asked agreed, if they could hold celibacy.
For most of us, sex is a natural need - just as we want to eat well, enjoy good wine, so when we are with someone, it is not enough to take our hand. Especially in the first weeks of falling in love, it is enough for the other to touch you, the brain switches off and the center of thought moves to completely different places …
Probably that’s why there is an overwhelming minority of people who really last until the wedding, experts say one or two percent. The most common reason why they do so is faith. God allows Catholics to have sex only in marriage. Until then, he must resist desires and passions. But even for many of them, lust is stronger than faith.
Seduction of a basketball player
When we create an average Czech, he will have his first sexual intercourse around eighteen, when he starts dating someone, he will end up in bed with him within a month. He will have five sexual partners in his life. She doesn’t understand why she should wait until her wedding for sex. On the contrary, she believes that she should get to know more partners with everything in order to gain experience (please not to confuse it with promiscuity). And she would be afraid to risk marrying a man with whom she wouldn’t be in bed.
“Even for sex, partners are more compatible and less compatible. There are couples who find it relatively difficult to match both in frequency and in practice and rapprochement rituals. That’s why it would be silly for you to find out after the wedding that you don’t smell.” says psychologist Petr Šmolka.
The Church’s demand that man and woman enter into marriage as panic and virgin had its logic a few centuries back. People lived to a much younger age, and so they experienced important life events much earlier. When you get married at seventeen, it’s not that hard to stay spotless.
But now it’s the year 2020. We study at universities, we travel, we want to prove something, we are looking for the right one more complicated due to the growing demands. A wedding in your thirties? This is basically the standard. And now imagine that you should fast until then.
For example, as the American Christian singer Rebecca St. James, who got married last April. She was thirty-three and, as usual, a virgin. Basketball player A. C. Green, who played for the Los Angeles Lakers, for example, panicked until he was 38, despite the fact that his teammates sent him nice ladies to seduce him. He quoted them from the Bible.
Sex as recreation
“It’s up to everyone to take care of their lives,” said the 26-year-old Catholic, who was married six years ago and both had no sexual experience with her husband. She doesn’t want to reveal her name, so let’s call her Marika.
“I know a lot of couples who were married in their thirties and waited for sex until then. I know couples who have been dating for five or ten years and have not slept together all the time. and as a couple, they graduate, travel, and build a career. “
It’s just that when you really believe, no argument will break your faith. Even the fact that experts claim that resisting sexual desires is not right.
As we have already written, sex is a basic human instinct, the satisfaction of which is our natural need. “The current time has brought with it a new view of sex and its function. In addition to the basic reproductive function, thanks to the discovery of contraception, the recreational function has also been added,” says sexologist Laura Janáčková.
“A different view of upbringing, religion, human values also led to a change in the view of the price of virginity. Until 50 years ago, it was uncommon for a girl not to enter into marriage as a virgin. Czech women now start their sex lives between the ages of 15 and 19. and many of them perceive virginity as a problem rather than a value in a relationship. “
The absence of sex can also affect our psyche. When it comes to our free choice, we can live a happy life. “If abstinence is involuntary, forced, then someone can become a hormonal chaser or a bitter morous,” says Petr Šmolka.
Topless model virgin
The American national team in the hurdles, two-time indoor champion Lolo Jones, is still a virgin at the age of 29. Take a look at her photo in the photo gallery and you will definitely get rid of the cliché that “eternal” virgins are girls with faces full of memories of adolescent acne, with greasy hair the color of mouse fur, drowning in washed clothes the size of a family tent.
I will add further proof that this theory does not really apply - one of the most beautiful women in the world, the Brazilian top model Adriana Lima, who for a few years appeared as the face of the Victoria Secret brand basically only in lingerie, was a virgin until she was twenty-seven. I imagine her husband running around the beauty on her wedding night, applauding enthusiastically that this is all his own.
But back to the athletic oval behind Lolo. She doesn’t have a husband yet, and she admitted that it’s getting harder and harder to find a boyfriend. The guys, on the one hand, are teasing her honesty, gossiping that they will humble her. But when he finds out after a few weeks that the athlete is insisting, it ends. He speaks of his determination to keep the wreath as the most difficult test of his life, even harder than preparing for the Olympics.
Jones also admires how openly he talks about his celibacy in public. Apparently she has enough courage, because as soon as you are a virgin in almost thirty years, everyone starts to decide why you don’t sleep with anyone, they basically ask you only about one thing. It’s a stigma. No wonder a lot of panics and virgins keep it a secret.
The American rugby player Tim Tebow (24) did not do it. The made-up shot with metrosexual inclinations revealed that he was a devout Catholic, and thus he was waiting for the wedding with “it”. But one dating site caught on and offered a million dollars to the women who would testify that they had slept with Tebow. No one wants to believe a done rugby player that his testosterone-loaded body would withstand the temptations of female fans…
Actress Lisa Kudrow, known mainly as the crazy singer Phoebe from the series Friends, even last year on Jay Lena’s famous talk show convinced viewers that she was definitely not a virgin until she was thirty-one, when she married, as she is said to be. She confided that as a young man she longed to last until the wedding night, but she failed.
One foot in the monastery
“I wasn’t looking for a friend, I wanted to enter the convent. I was even arranged to go there when I graduated. I didn’t change my mind until I met my husband,” recalls Linda, a 38-year-old who is today a mother of three.
The boys liked Marice from the beginning of the article. So does she. But most relationships ended in a “let’s be friends” style.
“I knew that if I dated a boy who didn’t deal with sex before the wedding and went on a third date that he wanted to sleep with me, our relationship wouldn’t last long. I had quite high demands on my future partner and I’m glad that I was And he appeared quite soon without trying to search diligently. “
Many believers will find their counterparts in groups where young Catholics meet. But sometimes infidels also mate with us. This is what Luke experienced when he dated a Protestant girl.
“I only found out about her decision after a while, and I was hesitant to continue the relationship. For me, love is a natural part of my partner’s life. For my young lady, physical expressions such as hugs, kisses, stroking, but sexual intercourse fell into the box “after the wedding.” I was wondering enough if to invest in such a relationship, “he says.
“In the end, I thought I had nothing to lose. She is a charming, skilful, successful manager. A joyful and kind person. And she is beautiful - both inside and out.” He lasted a year in a relationship, he did not press his girlfriend about sex, because he allegedly understood her reasons.
“Gradually it became clear to her that she was sorry she could not fully share her faith with me, and I tolerated our love limitations harder and harder. we were aware that marriage is more of a formal matter that can solve my part of the problem, but not hers. We have ended the relationship and remain good friends. “